Number Sixteen.

OH MY GOODNESS!

I’m getting married in two weeks from today? WHAT??!?!? This day was hundreds of days away yesterday! Sorry that I’m mushy but I’m marrying my middle school crush in 14 short days! Plus, finals are over, Christmas is almost here, my wedding is four days later, honeymoon, AND New Year’s! Hello being busy right?

Our little apartment is coming together quite nicely and I’m just skipping and ignoring the fact that I’ll have to actually cook meals every night soon. I don’t know how to cook at all. Hopefully Garret will just eat the things I burn and mess up for the first few couple of weeks. Knowing him, he won’t even tell me how awful it tastes.

Now to what is REALLY on my mind…

Lately, I’ve put a lot of thought into marriage, relationships, friendships, etc. I think about the successful ones and the not-so-successful ones. Not only do I want my marriage to be happy and successful, but I want all my relationships to be.

This isn’t all new news to me. Divorce rates are soaring and people seem to leave and enter friendships every day like it’s “no big deal”. I don’t want that for my family or the friendships that I have. I keep thinking to myself, what are the things that keep it alive? My head started racing with ideas. A long mental list started to form. But then I stopped and realized it’s just a few simple things. The Lord, love, forgiveness, and patience. If we all strived to keep The Lord the center of it all NO MATTER RELIGION, love those people (every single thing about them), forgive those that wrong us, and be patient with it all… we wouldn’t have a divorce rate, we wouldn’t have single mothers, we wouldn’t have war, we wouldn’t have hunger, we wouldn’t have ex-best friends, we wouldn’t have anything but our successful relationships.

My heart hurts when I begin to think of the friends that I have lost or the ones that I simply drifted apart from.

There is no better time like the present to start nurturing my relationships better. It’s a perfect time to forgive and love endlessly. It’s a good time to get closer to my Savior. It’s a perfect time to be better.

I will strive to have better relationships and be one dang good wife and someday mother. I love my family and I love the new family that I will have in two weeks. I love the boy that will soon be my husband and his willingness to put up with me and work long days to provide and take care of me.

 

God bless those families in CT. I’m truly grateful for the opportunity that those people, and all of us will have, to see our loved ones again someday.

 

Always smile,

A. almost Brent.

Number Fifteen.

I won’t be Alexa Ford much longer.

Sorry the statement is so obvious but the big wedding day is approaching quickly. If I really think about all the to-do lists I have left for the wedding, I may have an anxiety attack… but I’ll just think about that long ugly list later 🙂

I don’t know how many people read my blog, I don’t know how many of those readers are married but guess what? There have been so many things married people didn’t tell me. These past few months of being engaged I think to myself all too often, WHAT? NO ONE EVER TOLD ME THIS! But, I’m slowly learning it’s all a part of the journey to becoming Mrs. Brent. Who knew it wasn’t all roses and butterflies? Maybe I wasn’t in touch with reality but I’m here to say, it’s not all roses and butterflies! Imagine that Alexa! But I’ll admit, it makes the times that it is… 10 million times better.

Somehow the two of us found everything and anything to argue about (so unlike us). All of a sudden, real life hits and you have to make big grown up decisions. Best part about it is that… you get to make them together though. I’m grateful to have Garret to make them with. Especially with this life-changing choice…

Garret swore into the United States Air Force. He was awaiting the call from his recruiter to let him know his job that he was to be assigned to. We both were nervous yet excited about all the changes that would take place in our life as a married couple.

Weeks went by and one weekend, my family came to town. I started feeling anxious about it all knowing that we could be stationed millions of miles away from them for a number of years. Sunday arrived and they left leaving me with a horrible gut feeling inside. I decided to pray. I thought my feelings were just sad ones. I didn’t want to leave my family. I kept my mouth shut and kept cheering my sweetheart on. A few days later, doubts filled his heart and we both prayed hard. Through a big string of answered prayers and events, he’s decided not to join. This means that he cannot join the Air Force ever. Another branch? Maybe. But not the Air Force. It seems all so simple when it’s written out like this but it’s just…not. I love my Garret and it’s been a hard pill to swallow. I guess the Lord came in and picked us up and carried us for a while. His timing seemed ridiculous, but then I realized…the contract hasn’t been signed. The Lord was testing us. I’m not sure I understand why, but I know Heavenly Father will take care of us. A military lifestyle can be hard but they take care of your finances, health, etc. But I have learned something… I’d rather spend every single day with my eternal companion and family knowing that we did what was right. We may be struggle forever financially, but what does it matter? It doesn’t.

I love the man I’m marrying. He’s my best friend and I’m so proud of him and all he has accomplished. He may be rough around the edges, but he’s all mine and I can’t wait to marry him in the temple. It’s my dream and these next few weeks can’t come soon enough.

I love you Garret Brent.
For eternity and beyond ❤

Always smile,
–Soon to be A.Brent

Number Fourteen.

 

I can sum up my 2012 year in one phrase: the hardest and craziest year yet. Yeah, what could my little 19-year old life possibly hold that is so hard? Well, I’ve lost a lot and learned a lot. I’m not saying it was my worst year, definitely NOT. Just the hardest by far. I lost someone really close to me and I’m still trying to recover. I come from a broken home that doesn’t have a handbook telling a girl how to deal with those changes either. I’m also blessed with an academic scholarship that pays for one hundred percent of my college tution but with that, I have to take a minimum of 15 credits. Sorry, but 15 credits of hard classes can make a girl go NUTS! The semesters seemed to be endless and unfair. Oh and I’m getting married and it’s the happiest and best choice I’ll ever make but it adds some stress because let’s face it, planning a wedding isn’t easy! And no, I didn’t have a Pinterest board of all my ideas already. I didn’t even know what colors I wanted or anything for that matter.
I’m going to throw this out there though: this has been the best year of my life.
With all my busy schedules and never ending to-do list, I’ve found something to bring balance to it all. It’s something that doesn’t allow me to sit and watch gossip girl or lay in bed when I’m tired. Some may see it as a chore, an added stress, or just completely unnecessary, but it’s made my year worth living for.
KALAMITY. What else right?
But no, it’s not just because I get to put my worries away and just dance. It’s because I get to think about my worries, and realize how small they truly are. This year, our cause is Mighty Meg. She brings a whole new meaning to the word mighty. 4am practices aren’t so hard anymore. Not when I know there are people like Meg out there trying to fight cancer with a husband and two beautiful daughters at home. Practicing until midnight doesn’t seem mighty when I have the knowledge that someone’s cancer is beyond treatment. Mighty seems to be the courage and smile on her face when she came to a dinner with our team despite that pain she felt. Mighty Meg and Kalamity has brought a whole new meaning to my life. I said this last year as well, but this year doesn’t even compare. I love to dance, I do. But I can promise that dancing for someone else and using talents to serve others is the best in the whole world. It has changed my life and brought focus my hardest year to the best and hardest year.
Forgetting about yourself and serving others takes care of the bills, takes care of grades, takes care of to-do lists, and takes care of any worry.
I couldn’t be more grateful for my healthy body and my ability to dance. I’ll be a lifetime Kalamity member.

Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Thirteen.

I know. I haven’t posted in ages. But I sure have a good reason to post 🙂

I’m engaged. WHAT THE HECK?!?! There, I already said it for you so you didn’t have to! I saved you the breath. Yes, I’m engaged. I’m sure many have seen it via Facebook and Instagram. Most probably didn’t see it coming unless you’re really close to me. But now the news is out and I can talk about it.

I was in middle school when Garret and I became friends. Yes, I’m marrying the boy I had a crush on in middle school. We were always just friends. He was a skinny jean, tall-tee wearing, long haired punk to put it nicely. We always just Myspaced…hahahah. He would always message me on there and tell me hilarious stories to brighten my days. He’d text me sometimes but our friendship was very casual. OF COURSE I thought he was cute but I was just a nerdy tennis player…not meant to be okay? Anyways… I have to tell one story though to embarrass him. One night we were online talking and I was at home sick. He worked my favorite ice cream into our conversation and little did I know, my doorbell rang and there he was… standing with my favorite oreo ice cream. He even had his skinny jeans on that were tighter than mine. But he was there smiling and gave me a big hug then ran back to his mom’s car. HE COULDN’T EVEN DRIVE !!! He made his mom take him to get me ice cream. Sorry, I just think it’s the sweestest thing ever. It melted my heart. I know, I know… I’m getting mushy but I don’t care.

High school arrived and we were still friends. Not much had changed beside the fact that his shirts got smaller and his pants got biggger and even his hair was shorter at times. I dated other boys and he dated other girls. He was still the boy that girls loved because of his ‘bad boy’ attitude and I was still the girl that got straight A’s, played tennis, and read books against the wall at school. He eventually transferred back to PineView High and I didn’t talk to him much after that. We saw each other here and there because of some mutual friends.

The summer before senior year ❤
This special summer arrived and I guess this changed everything. I hung out with him any day that I could and we had the typical high school ‘summer fling’. It was wonderful for lack of a better word. I didn’t even know how a boy like him and a girl like me ended up together, but we did and guess what? I wasn’t complaining 🙂 Well, things didn’t end when summer did. We still continued to go to different high schools and have different friends. Homecoming came about and there was NO WAY in heck that Garret was going to ask me. First of all, Garret never went to high school dances unless they were girl ask guy so the girls asked him and THE GIRLS PAID. I was wrong, he did ask me and we did go to my Homecoming together. The night of the dance he asked me to be his girlfriend and we were together all the way up until graduation. We saw each other graduate and then in the summer, we went our separate ways. I know… that sounds so calm. Really, our break up was a complete mess on my end because I loved that boy and every boy I tried dating after that, didn’t compare at all. I went through my freshman year of college with no Garret to be seen. Not a lot of people knew, but we still remained talking even though we weren’t together… go figure right? I couldn’t get enough of that boy. A few months ago in June, things just fell into place. We both grew up, matured, and got back together. This wasn’t just any ‘get back together’ story, it was for real this time. I knew I wanted to be with him forever.

So now where are we?

Well when we got back together, Garret made the decision to join the military. So that’s the plan he is currently pursing. As that decision was made, marriage was brought up in the conversation and ever since then, it’s been the plan. We went ring shopping and I told him the one I loved and then on September 2nd, he surprised me and proposed! Here’s the actual  picture of the moment…(look at how cute he looks)

This moment was captured because Cambria, my friend on Kalamity, told me she wanted to get better at photography and practice on Garret and I! So we took the opportunity and this was all really just a plan for Garret to propose but I had no idea. We went up by the D by the old air port and that's where he did it. It was almost the exact spot he asked me to be his girlfriend in high school. He turned me around and started telling me he loved me in a serious tone and said he wanted to have a family with me. Of course I was choking back tears and said YES!

 

That’s that, I’m going to be a military wife and we’re about to travel the world together. We’re getting married December 29th in the St. George temple. I’m marrying my best friend and my middle school crush. I couldn’t ask for a better love story and a better fiance.

 

Garret Brent, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you. I can’t wait to be your wife.

 

 

 

 

There’s our story. Simple and in writing. I’m the luckiest girl alive. Period.

 

 

 

 

Always smile,

A.Ford

 

Number Twelve.

Number Twelve.

I did it.
My first year of college has come to an end. I really did it.
The thing about it is…I wasn’t looking to just survive; I wanted to conquer it. My personality isn’t the “getting by” type. What do we accomplish by just “getting by”? Nothing. Tia, my dance coach, tells us to never dance “halvsies”. It doesn’t get us anywhere or make us better. So this was my mindset this year: Learn with the intent of remembering every single thing. Now of course I KNOW that a human brain cannot remember every single thing that it is told, but who said I couldn’t try?Now, I probably can’t tell you the date of when the first Deaf school was established, how many amino acids make a complete protein, how to enter an “if then” statement on excel, or which type of conflict resolution technique works the best. But what can I tell you? I can tell you all the interpreting opportunities I had this semester and tell you about some of the new Deaf friends that I made. I can tell you about how improving my nutrition has made my body feel better on a regular basis. (I still drink Dr. Pepper though and yes, I realize that for every 6 oz. of caffeine I ingest, it drags out calcium with it. I’ll get over my addiction one day). I can also tell you that I learned a few new things on the computer that helps me with making spreadsheets for the studio. And I can also tell you about how becoming a better listener has improved my relationships in every way.
I know, why do you care about what I learned in school? My point is, my mindset helped me learn all of that. Often times I’m so focused on learning every little detail of information that I forget how it can apply to my life. After all, that’s what school is for right? Believe it or not, I truly believe that each class has something to offer as long as we go in with the mindset of learning, comprehending, and applying. And as much as I’d rather just live in The Vault all day long and dance, I’ve got to attend school.. so why not make the best of it? Granted, I’m grateful that the semester is over but I’m looking forward to all the books I’m going to read this summer.

-ALSO-
I wanted to share an experience that I’ve had lately. It’s actually more like a complete priviledge and opportunity. Here it is…
This past semester I took a co-op class. For those of you who do not know what that is… it’s just simply a class that you get credit for having a job. You meet with an instructor once a week and come up with goals and objectives that you must accomplish at your job over the semester. I was assigned to an instructor that worked in the disability resource center. I was so eager to start meeting with my instructor and find ways to better myself as Tia’s assistant and better myself as a dance teacher. Over the course of the semester, I improved a few things and everything was going well. The term was coming to a close and I was assigned my related project. My instructor told me to find an interpreter and find pros and cons of their job. After that, I needed to come back to him and talk to him about it and also write a paper on it. Simple enough right? Well, I knew the woman that worked at the front desk at the disability resource center was an interpreter and she’d be easy to meet with since I’m there weekly. I decided to go talk to her about setting up a time to learn more about her job as an intepreter. Before I could even set up a time with her, she asked me to help her interpret for a woman in her ward. She inteprets all three hours for this woman and she said it’d help her if I could only do an hour or whatever I was confident enough to do. I quickly accepted the opportunity. I stepped out of that building and I felt my palms become sweaty. Did I really just agree to interpret? I sure did.
A few days later, Sunday arrived. I walked into a ward that I’d never been to before. I met the Deaf woman and began chatting with her and Meadow, the other interpreter, and began to feel more comfortable with her style. The Deaf woman was very clear and easy to understand. All of that didn’t calm my nerves though. As I was walking into the chapel, I saw many familiar faces that I knew would be staring at me in a few minutes. I doubt any of them knew sign language anyway, but I was still freaking out. The meeting began and Meadow started interpreting all the announcements and such. I sat and watched until Meadow got out of the seat and pointed at me. It was my turn. I began interpreting the best I knew how. The Deaf woman was sweet and understanding when I missed something or messed up. But I was really doing it. I was interpreting.
This experience was such an amazing opportunity. Because of that class, I was able to have more experience working toward my goal to be a certified interpreter. Now, I can go to that ward every Sunday and interpret for that woman. I know that if I work hard, I will continue to grow and improve.
I just wanted to share that experience. I’ve learned a lot this past year going to college. I learned more about myself than I ever thought I would. The main thing I learned was this: when I was serving and thinking of others, school was easier and I found the time to do my homework. When I was being selfish and constantly thinking about me me me me, school was harder. So, if you think you’re too busy to do something for someone else because of school, take the leap of faith and try it. I promise you’ll have time for everything.
Today is going to be a wonderful summer day.

Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Eleven.

I never thought I’d say this. I’ve heard this so many times. It’s not that I didn’t believe it, I just didn’t think the words would be falling out of my mouth.

My trials have been a blessing.
There, I said it. And I meant it. This past semester has brought forth more change, trials, hardships, happiness, and sadness than any other period of time in my life. I get tired even thinking about it. Have you ever looked back on something and thought to yourself, how did I ever get through that? Or even, how was I strong enough to make it through that day? I look back on the past six months of my life and ask myself those questions so many times. There were days I never wanted to get out of bed. There were days I didn’t know if I’d even smile. But then there were the days that I never wanted to end. There were the days that seemed perfect. There were the days that my tummy hurt from laughing. I guess I’ve felt it all. Pain and joy. But without the pain, I wouldn’t have appreciated my joy. For that, I’m extremely grateful.

I always wanted my life to be picture perfect ya know? I really did. I wanted the perfect family, the perfect grades, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect body, the perfect wardrobe, and the perfect hair. But, that didn’t really happen– at all actually. I come from a broken family. I drive between two households and it’s hard. I wish I had a better word for it than that, but that one seems to just be raw and true. Those of you who come from divorced parents know what I mean. Also, I definitely don’t have the perfect boyfriend (I don’t have one at all). The perfect body doesn’t exist. Oh and perfect hair? I cut mine all off. I was sick of striving to have long hair like everyone else. I was sick of feeling like I was only pretty if my hair was long. So now what? Nothing is perfect. But life is still… wonderful. Trials, challenges, hardships, and problems…. well they help us gain the knowledge necessary for down the road experiences.

Bad things are inevitable. Absolutely inevitable. I imagine trials like a river. The river I’m talking about isn’t deep. It’s maybe a foot or two. I guess it wouldn’t matter if it was deep either. But I like to think that my river is only a few feet deep. It means no trial is NEAR being too big for me to handle. I imagine myself standing on one side of the river looking straight ahead to the other side. The river is cold and I have long pants on. I imagine myself gripping my pants for strength as I slowly pull them up to keep them from the frozen water below me. As I step into the ankle biting water, I know that there will come time for an end. You can’t cross a river forever. You may get stuck, you may almost be swept off your feet, but you’ll always make it across. Not to mention the fact that when I look to my left and right, everyone else seems to have deeper water than I do. That’s when I become really grateful for my shallow water.

Maybe my river analogy is crazy. But it works for me. And I can say that today, I’m looking backwards—I made it across this river. Now I’m warming up my cold feet and hiking forward to the next one. I’m happy even. Things aren’t perfect, but I feel joy every single day.

Divorced parents. Two houses. Fifteen minutes apart. What do I do? Enjoy the sunset both ways. I never thought I’d say it… but yes, my trials have helped me to become happy.

Love yourself today okay?

Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Ten.

I am a Kalamity dancer.

 

I have been shaped, carved, and molded. I have become an instrument in the Lord’s hands to serve others. I was a raw piece of clay and Tia was and STILL is the artist. I will never be complete because each sweat that drips from my body helps etch me into a better dancer. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m surrounded by teammates. I’m side-by-side with my sisters. They are all being molded just like me.  And together, we are a big tool to the community. We aren’t all the same. Some have husbands, some have children, and some have their textbooks, but united—our goal is the same. This goal wouldn’t be made possible without the woman that started this masterpiece. We call her mama Tia. Kalamity came from these few things: Tia, a few other dancers, a garage, a pair of chucks, and the pure love of dance.

I don’t know the process that Kalamity has been through to be where it is today because I’ve only been a member since April of 2010. I was a 16 year old tennis player when I was invited to be on Kalamity with girls that were years older than me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into but that simple decision to accept has changed my life. And all I know is this– Kalamity is where it is today as a direct result from the Lord. I could go on forever about Kalamity and what it means to me but words can’t help anyone understand what we do without truly being a part of it. And yes, for those of you who ask, our 4:50am practices are worth it. And you want to know why they are worth it?

My answer is simple: JB. And no, I’m not talking about Justin Bieber. I’m talking about someone much more important. I’m talking about Jeanette Bracken. She’s a single mom with five kids and is in need of a kidney transplant. Our practices start with a prayer for her and end with a prayer for her. Next weekend will be the show for her. My excitement is beyond measure at this point. I hope the community comes to support us and Jeanette Bracken. We love her and our Heavenly Father has directed us to help her, but we can’t do it alone. I hope everyone that reads this comes to enjoy our love of dance and service. It’s not just about dancing… not anymore.

 

 

 

 Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Nine.

Thank you.

I never understood how powerful those words were growing up. Who knew two words could turn a day around? Who knew that the lack of those two words could destroy a relationship, a friendship, and maybe even a family. I’ve had this post finished for a while but I decided to wait until the month of November to post it for obvious reasons. However, these two words should be said all year round without exception.

My sophomore year of high school I had a teacher (Ms.K), she told me that in her sketchbook she kept little squares of paper so that she could write random thank you’s to people. At the time, I didn’t think much of it because I just thought yeah, my crazy painting teacher would do that. Years later, I know that what she was doing was truly wonderful. I’ve done my best recently to let those that I love know how much I appreciate them in my life.

You know that feeling you get when you receive something random? A note, a letter, an e-mail, a text, etc. Yeah, it’s probably top three on my list of the best feelings ever. I never really received random things until my senior year of high school. I had a boyfriend [Garret Brent :)] that was the best at leaving me random thank you notes or random acts of kindness to show his gratitude. Every day that things like that would happen, it would change my entire day. How amazing would it be if we all did that for each other? If we all let our friends, family, girlfriends, boyfriends, coaches, teachers, etc., how grateful we are for them in our lives. It doesn’t need to be a gift or anything fancy, just a simple note telling them thank you.

I’m not sharing this post because it’s something I’m good at. I’m working on it and starting to tell people thank you more often myself. It’s just been on my mind a lot lately when I’ve received little notes on my dry-erase board from Sami, texts from my mom, notes from Garret, or a smile and a thank you from people that I see daily. I should be the one doing those things daily for them.

I think I’ve been lacking in this area for a while now because I’ve spent so much time wrapped up in myself and my own personal trials. When really, so many people have it worse than I do. I forget to look outside and lend a helping hand to others. So this is my promise: I will let the people I love know that I love them and appreciate them EVERY DAY. I hope those reading this know how much I love them in my life and how lost I would be without them.

It’s going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving/Christmas season. Things are changing and new starts are beginning. I can’t wait.

Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Eight.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We all are asked that when we’re little girls and boys. Most of us reply with doctor, lawyer, professional this, professional that, etc. Then, we all go onto college and we decide those things are too hard or we become way unmotivated and we settle for other jobs. This isn’t the case for everyone, but I think for most people it is. Because of this, I’ve been so motivated my whole life to find something that I love. And crap, now that college is here… it’s all a reality for me and many of you I’m sure.

But yes, I’ve finally found it. And each day, it is confirmed to me more and more that what I want to do with the rest of my life is perfect for me. What is it? An American Sign Language Interpreter. Ever since I was a junior in high school, I took classes and fell in love with the language right away. From then on, I told people I was going to interpret for a living but I never knew if that’s what was truly right for me. But this year in level three, we are required to attend many Deaf activities and write about them. Through this experience, I’ve learned how much I love the Deaf community and that I want to be of service to them and continue to learn of their culture and become the best interpreter that I can possibly be. Plus, learning another language is the best. Going to Deaf events and just signing away is one of the greatest feelings ever. So now I know what I want to do with my life and I know I’m going to enjoy it.

I don’t think there is anything that should stand in your way of happiness, especially your job. The wonderful thing is, we all have the power to be WHATEVER we want to be. While we have no control over our families, our circumstances, etc., we have the power over our education and over our futures. So, why not make them awesome? Why not do what you love every day for the rest of your life? Getting there will be hard work. It will take semesters and semesters of school and sleepless nights, but once you get there… it’ll all be worth it. I keep telling myself that every day.

So what will you do with your life? Will you make it something that you love to do? I sure hope so. I hope you don’t choose a profession just because it may be lucrative and such. I hope you choose it because you love it. Tia Stokes is a perfect example. She didn’t open The Vault to make money, she opened The Vault to give Kalamity a home and because she truly just loves to dance. She’s given us a place that we truly feel comfortable and she gets to live and breathe it every day. And guess what? Life is not about how much money we can make and how many things we can buy.

And one more thing that’s on my racing mind. Many girls that I come in contact with, they all say that they don’t want to go to college or develop their talents because they are just going to get married and no longer worry about getting an education. Please oh please, what a perfect world would that be? But, we don’t live in a perfect world. I’m not saying every single girl must get a master’s degree and be a career woman, but I hope we can become educated, talented, and useful women in society. Because women can make a difference… call me a feminist. I don’t care. But you can’t always depend on men to provide for you… you’ve got to take care of yourself.

Yeah, I’m done writing now. I just had all sorts of blunt things to say.

Always smile,

A.Ford

Number Seven.

Sometimes, things don’t work out as planned. Sometimes things don’t happen the way you want them to. Sometimes you don’t get the things you feel like you deserve. But isn’t that what life is about?

That’s been my toughest pill to swallow. I always feel like everything needs to go exactly how I want it to. I feel as if the good people in life have good things happen to them. The more I grow up, the more I realize this isn’t true whatsoever. To put it bluntly, we don’t always get what we deserve because others in life aren’t always grateful. We may do our best and if it isn’t good enough for someone else, so be it. It’s their loss anyway. I don’t want to get too personal and too open, but I feel like this is what blogging is about. I don’t think too many people read this, so I’m comfortable sharing this:

I lost a best friend recently. I lost him due to many things going on in my life. I miss him, of course, but I know that I can still be the same Alexa Ford without him, maybe even better. I learned that to love someone is to care about their happiness and to let go if that’s what makes them happy. People always say, “To love is to let go.” All those people are right. You can’t hold someone back or hold them close if they don’t want to stay. They’ll come back if that’s what is meant to happen or you’ll move on to bigger and better things. Love is crazy and painful, but it’s always worth it. I don’t think breaking up ends the entire world, but I know it will hurt for a while. Now it’s time to figure things out for myself and have faith in my Heavenly Father and His plan for me. I needed to write this to feel better and yes, I feel much better.

And Garret, if you’re reading this,
I do love you. I did say that I lost a best friend recently, but I guess I should have said I only lost a boyfriend. I didn’t lose a best friend. Not one single bit. We’re always gonna be here for each other and support one another. I can’t thank you enough for all the times you’ve helped me up when I’ve fallen down. Life is confusing and I know things are more confusing than ever, but I know the Lord will answer our prayers and help us. I was lucky to have you for such a long time and for all the fun memories we had. I just barely re-wrote blog number three about you and just like it says, we always have so much fun together. Whether it was our trips to Salt Lake, Mr. Olympia, state tennis, trips to Menchies, walks around the temple, scavenger hunts around town, late night talks on the couch, movie nights, laughing until our abs hurt, high school dances, or simply just spending time together–I loved every minute. Best part about it is, those never need to end. I look forward to everything the future has ahead of us and I’m grateful I’ll have you in my life forever. I love you Garret Slade Brent. Always.

 

Always smile,

A.Ford