I never thought I’d say this. I’ve heard this so many times. It’s not that I didn’t believe it, I just didn’t think the words would be falling out of my mouth.
My trials have been a blessing.
There, I said it. And I meant it. This past semester has brought forth more change, trials, hardships, happiness, and sadness than any other period of time in my life. I get tired even thinking about it. Have you ever looked back on something and thought to yourself, how did I ever get through that? Or even, how was I strong enough to make it through that day? I look back on the past six months of my life and ask myself those questions so many times. There were days I never wanted to get out of bed. There were days I didn’t know if I’d even smile. But then there were the days that I never wanted to end. There were the days that seemed perfect. There were the days that my tummy hurt from laughing. I guess I’ve felt it all. Pain and joy. But without the pain, I wouldn’t have appreciated my joy. For that, I’m extremely grateful.
I always wanted my life to be picture perfect ya know? I really did. I wanted the perfect family, the perfect grades, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect body, the perfect wardrobe, and the perfect hair. But, that didn’t really happen– at all actually. I come from a broken family. I drive between two households and it’s hard. I wish I had a better word for it than that, but that one seems to just be raw and true. Those of you who come from divorced parents know what I mean. Also, I definitely don’t have the perfect boyfriend (I don’t have one at all). The perfect body doesn’t exist. Oh and perfect hair? I cut mine all off. I was sick of striving to have long hair like everyone else. I was sick of feeling like I was only pretty if my hair was long. So now what? Nothing is perfect. But life is still… wonderful. Trials, challenges, hardships, and problems…. well they help us gain the knowledge necessary for down the road experiences.
Bad things are inevitable. Absolutely inevitable. I imagine trials like a river. The river I’m talking about isn’t deep. It’s maybe a foot or two. I guess it wouldn’t matter if it was deep either. But I like to think that my river is only a few feet deep. It means no trial is NEAR being too big for me to handle. I imagine myself standing on one side of the river looking straight ahead to the other side. The river is cold and I have long pants on. I imagine myself gripping my pants for strength as I slowly pull them up to keep them from the frozen water below me. As I step into the ankle biting water, I know that there will come time for an end. You can’t cross a river forever. You may get stuck, you may almost be swept off your feet, but you’ll always make it across. Not to mention the fact that when I look to my left and right, everyone else seems to have deeper water than I do. That’s when I become really grateful for my shallow water.
Maybe my river analogy is crazy. But it works for me. And I can say that today, I’m looking backwards—I made it across this river. Now I’m warming up my cold feet and hiking forward to the next one. I’m happy even. Things aren’t perfect, but I feel joy every single day.
Divorced parents. Two houses. Fifteen minutes apart. What do I do? Enjoy the sunset both ways. I never thought I’d say it… but yes, my trials have helped me to become happy.
Love yourself today okay?
Always smile,
A.Ford
Alexa Brent 